I am a MESS


* Me went to kebun w father once upon balmy morning xD

Hi and assalam...

uuuu kerajinan berblog sem ni wau wau rajin lain macam dan luar biasa sangat kay. huhuhuh recently I obsessed with so many things. Haiyooo this tua girl kan. Really... selain itu juga saya juga mengalami pelbagai masalah emosi turun naik. ups and downs. kejap ups but mostly downs la... hmmm I'm not goin to o complaint. nope. but more like I want to talks about this. ( emm is this consider complaint ka? hm entah IDK.) tp kan... How how how how did you guys dealing with REDHA. yes REDHA. actually I have this thing. (personal thing) I memang rasa betul betul dalam tangan sudah. haieh memang jadi ni. memang memang tp. rupanya tidak. 

yes I know perancangan Allah yang terbaik. tapi ada masa saya akan terlalu down. and selalu terlepas.. kenapa. Ya Allah. T.T. It's not love. okay.. It's regarding of my studies. yes STUDIES. sometimes I feels like... kan bagus kalo tidak sambung study. TT astagafirullah. I know it's not good. I know I always know. TT. I wonder if I could turn back time.. WOULD I TURN DOWN ALL THE OPPORTUNITY? to continue my study. I don't know. Yes probably and maybe the answer is no. We're human kan always a little not certain about everything. If cakap pasal future kan. Odoi dogo... I don't know. All I know is I want to finish everything here.. the more I want to end faster...lagi la mcm ada something holding me here... TT . sho sad kan. (I DID STUDY THO) bukan saja saja I membiarkan paper failed merata. TT apa pun moga saja Allah bukakan hati seluas selapang lapangnya untuk terima semua ini.

dulu I care about everything like.. I know ppl are calling me dumb. I don't have many friend in Uni. you don't know how many *SLEEPLESS night *BROKE days I have goin through in just to reached up to this level.  You don't know how many assignment I feel like dyin. You don't know how many time I feel devastated bcs I am so worried about things like I TEDA GROUP ASSIGNMENT. xD but Alhamdullilah. Semakin lama.. semakin okay. Last last sem I met w lots of beautiful people tho most of them is temporary but then I got to know some of you... and theres y still w me.. bearing w my crazy on the inside but ayu in the outside. CEHHHHH. muntah caption untuk diri sendiri ni. hahahaha. (BUT SRLYS BA I heard ppl calling me oh she's demure and shy and quiet) You just don't know me better yet. hihihihih. bai. 

Tapi teda la ba jahat terlampau di level okay okay saja la. hihihihihihihihihihi. Hm actually I mok cerita pasal ni lagi ni. pasal GGV. gema gegar vaganza. omaigosh I minat gila dgn hijjaz Unic and recently I minat juga Mirwana. kekeke. saya ni jauh sgt dr org alim.. besa besa sahaja. tapi apa apa pasal keagamaan I memang support dan minat. kay. (SAMA SAMA LA KITA PERBAIKI DIRI) #hashtag KITA HIDUP SEMENTARA JAGA LALAI DENGAN DUNIA. 

and OH ya I sebenarnya keciwa tomod okay sebab Zero no 4 ja ni d MLM. hmm. mcm tida fair kan.. konsisten every week tp then no uncit. hampir2 la tu. hahahah xapa la not rezeki kan apa mo buat. Program program ni ja la peneman hidup I d uni tau. memang sedih sgt hidup I d uni ni... tp selalu muhasabah diri banyak banyak. (banyaklah positive vibes) sy ceduk dr juta tempat supaya kekal positive. 

apa lagi mau cakap arrr... hm. okay kembali pada yang tadi, mo pesan sikit.. masuk U ni kan memang senang. InsyaAllah kalo ada rezeki la kan... tp part mau keluar tu aigo. memang payah sikit. kalau saya la memang kelaut. focus entah kemana. selama di UNI ni terlalu banyak silap dan salah saya. Sama orang sama team. Kalau reminisce smua tu sekarang tu... I think I know why AM I SUCH A LOSER. saya memang selalu kalah. I don't know when I will fight for myself. I don't mind being the loser...

I have my own interest but then sekarang masi begini begini juga. Kalau pasal kecewakan orang ya rabbi jangan tanya lah. Saya rasa juga kan. bcs I always play safe.. I never want to take the risks. I always want to be safe. I am afraid of rejection... failure and everything If let say I want to try new things. sampai bila aku pun inda tauuuuu.

All my friends are getting married.. getting their scrolls. getting their first gaji... went to travel. buys their property ( I had friends y sekarang kereta suda ada gaji simpanan besar suda ada ) my age kay dan semuanya hasil diorang. I'm not jealous. okay In fact I happy sebab dorg suda berjaya dulu... the thing is look at me. I know our time is different but tipu la if you x pernah ralat even sekali kan... apa pun moga moga ini tidak menjatuhkan semangat moga ini semua ini menaikkan semangat saya.


I'm just in a terrible condition. hmmmmmmmm. tapi pujuk hati.. sangka baik lah dengan Allah... there must be something. AND apa apa pun terjadi. I believe in you my rabb.


tabah kan hati hati ku...
happy kan la semua hati hati y sedang sedih dan down...
beri la kesabaran
dengan
sabar yg secantik cantik nya....




xoxo.
Garl
5.30 AM




Salam Subuh